Breaking the Sweet Tea Curse

My nona, Mary (center) with my aunts Selema (left) and Marie (right). Lovely ladies, wonderful cooks, but their sweet tea ....eh.

If you're a Southerner, there's nothing more refreshing on a hot summer's day, than a tall glass of iced sweet tea sipped slowly through a straw while swaying on a porch swing. Unless my nona brewed the tea. In that case you you took a hasty gulp, bypassing the taste buds, and discreetly poured the rest into the hydrangea bushes.

My nona was a lovely person, a wonderful grandmother and a fantastic cook. But she couldn't brew sweet tea for toffee.

It was the family sweet tea curse.

She did try. After all, she was a Girl Raised in the South (GRITS) -- at least from the age of five on -- and making and drinking sweet tea is what we do, damn it. Even if it kills us (and the hydrangeas.)

Instead of clear amber liquid, Nona's tea pitcher spewed forth murky dark sludge that looked like it had spent considerable time lubricating a car engine.

Her tea bag of choice was Thrifty Maid, Winn-Dixie's house brand. In my opinion, any food product bearing the image of that bonnie plaid-wearing lass had to be gag-inducing. Ever try Thrifty Maid ketchup? Nasty, nasty stuff!

Nona's economy in buying the lowest-priced store brand was offset somewhat by her tendency to brew all the tea bags at once. I attribute this excess to her roots. While the Croats may have beat back the Turks centuries ago, the Ottoman Empire struck back by leaving their mark on Croatia's beverages. You can stand a spoon up in their coffee and tea.

To cut the bitterness of her strong brew, Nona dumped in lots of granulated sugar. It semi-dissolved then slowly settled in the murky depths like detritus from a ship wreck.

Then to offset the sweetness, she added several swigs of "real" lemon juice from a green bottle. I believe that same bottle had resided in her refrigerator since the Eisenhower administration. It tasted like ammonia.

Then she added more sugar to cover up the ammonia tang.

And so on and so forth in a vicious cycle until the tea was so thick you could chew it.

Nona served her tea in a kitschy '50s aluminum pitcher and tumbler set. The aluminum imparted a slightly metallic taste. And made your teeth itch.

Any leftover tea (and there was always some left over) was put back into the refrigerator for the next day.

My aunts couldn't make decent tea to save their lives either. My mother would have been "sweet tea impaired" as well had she not been blessed with a mother-in -law who was a genuine Tennessee-born-and-bred GRITS . She taught my mother how to brew perfect sweet tea. And make lighter than air biscuits. And fry crispy-on-the-outside-juicy-on-the inside chicken.

And so the sweet tea curse was broken, and our family's GRITS credentials established.

Southern Sweet Tea (the right way)

• Use a good brand of tea bag. Off brands make for off-tasting tea.


• Boil fresh water for each new pitcher. Leftover boiled kettle water may be sterile but it isn't tasty -- and yes this is important. Some people swear by using a special kettle for brewing only tea.


• Use no more than 3-4 family size tea bags per 6 cups of boiling water.


• Steep no longer than 10-15 minutes. just until the tea is a nice rich amber tone. Remove the tea bags. Over-steeping will make the tea bitter.


• Now here's the key part. You can just dump a cup of sugar in the tea, but it's so worth it to use the time while the tea is steeping to dissolve a cup of sugar in a cup of boiling water to make a simple syrup. The syrup mixes into the tea more evenly than undissolved sugar and keeps the liquid clear and grit-free. Once you master the art of simple syrup, you'll also be able to prepare fresh figs for freezing in the summer. And also make a decent mint julep come Derby Day


• Fill the pitcher with more water to make a gallon. Let it cool a little. Pour freshly brewed, cooled tea over ice cubes or crushed ice. Hot tea will immediately melt your ice, watering down the tea and overfilling your glass.


• Serve with a squeeze of fresh lemon (or lime for a totally different, yet equally refreshing, taste experience).


• Add a sprig of lightly crushed spearmint (optional).

In the unlikely event you have some tea left in the bottom of the pitcher, POUR IT OUT. Under no circumstances should you try to save it for later or, God forbid, the next day.

Unlike a GRITS, iced sweet tea does not improve with age.